My Public Service Post For The Month: How To Properly Apologize.

Before we start you need to read this post…..go ahead I’ll wait…………..

http://thebloggess.com/2011/10/and-then-the-pr-guy-called-me-a-fucking-bitch-i-cant-even-make-this-shit-up/

I know right????????????????????????? Can you believe that idiot works in pr?

Anyway, it started me thinking about how apologizing has really become a lost art in our society.  Obviously.

In our lives there will come a day when you will to apologize to someone.  I don’t believe most of us want to hurt people’s feeling or behave inappropriately.  Some of us have to apologize on a daily basis.  The problem is that an insincere or botched apology is worse than not apologizing at all.  additionally you only  have one shot to do it correctly since we haven’t evolved enough to have a rewind button.

So here is a foolproof way to apologize.  First if you are apologizing in person you must muster up the correct facial expression.  It should convey that you are sincere in your apology.  Cocky looks, eye rolls even arrogant posture will derail your apology before you open your mouth.

Then be conscious of how your apology should sound. It must sound sincere…..if you don’t really want to apologize you might want to practice a couple of times to get the right tone.  Delivery is very important.

Choose your words carefully.  This is what you say:  “I’m sorry”.  Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you add a ‘but’ at the end of this statement.  You can expand to say something like “I’m sorry that I hurt your feeling’  or possibly explain your own personal failures that contributed to the incident but that’s it.  You should not say “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings but this is why you were wrong”.

If you are apologizing by email, for the love of God have someone else review your email before you hit send.  Maybe two or three people.  Since you don’t have the added insight of body language apologies must be carefully worded to sound sincere.

In order to demonstrate some advanced apology techniques I have written a few apology letters for people who I think need to use them.

Dear Bloggess:

I apologize for being completely unprofessional last week.  I had a rough day and it was out of character for me to react that way.  It was also in appropriate for me to accuse you of bullying when you were simply proving your point. 

(Ok. that’s not true…..my mother says I have always behaved rashly.  Also, she asked that I convey to you that she really did raise me better than that and did all she could.  She also said she is a big fan and I am getting coal and a “Beyonce’ for Christmas whatever that means)

In the future I will strive to think before hitting send on my emails and to never again use the ‘reply all’ button.  It is evil and should be abolished.

Sincerely A Fully Schooled,

Jose Martinez

Dear Unemployed People of America:

I apologize for implying that being unemployed was your fault and that you should take responsibility for it.

It is easy to forget that people who are unemployed can feel beaten down at every turn.  That the day-to-day struggle to keep their lives above water is overwhelming.  That constant rejection while looking for a job, any job can make you feel worthless.  That constant worry of how you will pay the rent or mortgage, keep food on the table and the lights on is exhausting.  That the humiliation of having to ask for help makes you feel less than human.  That feeling like you have no control over what is happening makes it difficult to even get out of bed some days.

It is easy to forget that our job as a society is to support, encourage and give a helping hand and that implying that if you just worked harder you wouldn’t be in this position doesn’t do any of those things.

I’m sorry.

Sincerely.

Mr. Herman Cain

Dear Amanda Knox:

I apologize for saying that you were guilty of the murder of your roommate and that I knew more information than apparently the Italian courts do.

To be honest I just can’t let something happen in the media without weighing in on it and the more controversial my position the better.  I mean, let’s be honest, if I had said that I agreed with the court finding no one would have reported on it.

I’m sorry again.

Nancy Grace

PS: I will apologize for my hideous dancing on Dancing With The Stars at a later date and explain what blackmail information I have on the judges that make them be so kind to me. 

Note: Not real picture of the idiot

Dear Amy Apple:

I apologize for parking my giant ass truck in the fire lane in front of the grocery store today in the rain effectively blocking all traffic and creating a complete roadblock.  Additionally I apologize for calling you that nasty name when you pointed out that I was being pretty rude and that I was not supposed to be parked there at all.

I am sure that your kind feedback will make me stop and think the next time I decide that my comfort is more important than the other people around me.

Sincerely.

Asshat In A Big White Truck Outside HEB Today

 

 

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