This Is NOT A Post About Our Cats

At least not directly.

< I’m soooooo sad that 1.  the chip on my camera is broken & 2.  I was so distracted by what was happening to take pictures because really this was a picture opportunity!>

Yesterday morning while Edward was in the shower I went outside to water the plants.  Suddenly what to my wandering eye should appear but two GIANT (Really, huge) German Shepards.  They ran up to me and I employed my Ceasar Chavez “no look no touch approach” and ignored them.  The two monster dogs followed me around the house and all the way to the front door.

They seemed pretty interested in coming inside but I firmly said no since all the cats were inside (something I was thankful for), slipped inside and shut the door.  I assumed the puppies would mosey on down the road shortly.

I was wrong.

It is probably important to note that by this point in the day I not only had taken a shower but blow dried my hair and put on makeup.  I was lookin’ fine y’all.

The next time I looked out the front window the dogs were laying on the porch apparently settled in for a nice nap.  I did mention that they were huge right?    I even called Edward out to look at them and how funny it looked with them sprawled out in front of the front door.   Rascal and MommaCat knew that they are there and not happy about it.  Rascal was as freaked out as you would expect and Momma was puffed up to a point that I didn’t know she could get too.    Circumstances were tense.

Finally it was time for Edward to leave.  We opened the door and slipped out.  Once the doors on the truck were open the dogs thought it was an open invitation to leap inside.  (Edward being mean said that they couldn’t come along to work.)  I sent him on his way and finally pried a collar off one dog so I could read the dog tags attached.  Rabies tag…..thats good and a mostly faded out name tag telling me his name was RANGER and a phone number and address.

I went inside to get my phone so I could call the owners and apparently didn’t get the front door latched.  My new BFF puppies pushed the door open and came sprinting inside.  Hilarity ensued!!!!

I wanted to go out and take a picture of the two dogs but every time I opened the door they tried to run inside and we weren't playing that game again. Besides I had to shower.

Cats freaking, dogs running, me trying to get them to leave and them refusing.  I mean it……I had one around the waist and was dragging it to the door and it had legs out trying to stop it.   Now I’m sweating……….

They won’t leave and the owner doesn’t answer.  Ok……so I’ll take them home and see if I can get them into a yard or a fence or something.  I open the car door and one dog jumps in and lays down.  The other one won’t get in.  Now I’m chasing it all over the yard. (sweating and cursing)  Finally second gigantic dog is in the car.

Drive 3 blocks to their home.  Of course no one is home.  Of course there isn’t a gate to the back yard.  Of course no one will answer the phone.  Of course one dog is running all over the street and the other dog won’t get out of the vehicle.  Of course I now have makeup running all over the place and it looks like I just did my 3 mile walk.

Of course.

Now I don’t now what to do.  Shove them out and drive away?  Take them home?  Cry? Drink?

Finally the owner calls.  She is soooo sorry and says I can just leave them there and she will be home shortly.  Only problem?  One won’t get out of the car and every time I open the door the other one jumps inside.  They aren’t letting me leave.

Also, it was hysterical that they had these giant “BEWARE OF MEAN GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG” Signs on their gate.  Yes, because these were certainly guard dogs.

Momma and Rascal Hiding in the bedroom while the dogs were laying seige,

So fine……I load them up, take them home, call the owner and tell her where they are, lure them into the backyard (Not an easy job btw) , slam the gate and collapse on the sofa.

A sweaty mess.

Cats pissed.

I have a lunch date.  Take another shower and meet Susan for lunch (and mojitos!!!!).  Owner calls while we are there to apologize again and again and say she had the dogs and thank you.

I drink another mojito and go home to take a nap.  Once I got home MommaCat was sitting on the table (Expressly against the rules) and looked at me all:  What?  Oh, I’m not supposed to be on the table?  Well, there aren’t supposed to be DOGS in this house either.

The End.

By the way……the cats spent the rest of the day peering around corners and furniture as if expecting a giant dog to jump out at them.  That was funny.

All Clear?????

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Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

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One thought on “This Is NOT A Post About Our Cats

  1. Kicky

    OMG, that is hilarious!

    You are way too popular in the pet arena, babe.

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